The God Trigger

Fear vs. Curiosity

An Interview with Pastor David Schultz

Photograph by Bethany Takes Photos

I am writing about one of the hardest blocks I have had to clear. It took a while to know what to write because the layers of trauma are many surrounding this topic. I witnessed abuse in the church that was kept secret by men in power. No one would acknowledge questions I had about various topics. I was asked to accept ideas and opinions without question. There was fear, punishment and shame around every corner of everyone’s lives drenched in many secrets, and pools of secret suffering drowning people around me. Bizarre power dynamics that always confused me . . . and the list goes on. So how to write this first blog post without rambling.

I may have already failed at that but I will press on!

I interviewed my grandpa. He is a Lutheran minister. I now, after unpacking, journaling and receiving guidance from my teachers, guides and loved ones in the Akashic Records, realized him and I have more in common than we do difference. He does not share that perspective.

The first question I asked him was: Do you consider yourself a healer? He abruptly said “No” hard stop. So I followed up with: “What does it mean to be a “healer”? He replied, “I believe in prayer, because of grace, I have a relationship with God. it has nothing to do with me or what I am doing it has to do with his grace. When I look for people that are hurting; I will stop them and ask them where the hurt is coming from and then I ask them if I can pray for them to heal that pain. God uses peoples hands on other peoples bodies to heal sometimes. Prayer is the number one healer. Sometimes he uses our lives and bodies as conduits."

Ok, so . . . semantics -- but it sounds like him and I are on the same page (minus the fact that God requires a masculine pronoun) . . . I view him as a healer because he is a conduit through which God’s healing works to help others seeking guidance out of a painful place.

The next four questions elicited various intellectual, sociological and spiritual questions but I tried to stay focused. Here they are in order . . .

Who is God?

“God is the creator of the universe. He was eternal before all things. (I’m sitting there thinking yes . . . agreed . . . minus the He classification, )”

What are people doing when they pray?

“They are surrendering their hurt to us who are prayer leaders and warriors so that God may use us to bring healing to their lives. This sounds on par with how I have come to understand prayer and meditation. Surrendering intellect to the process, asking for guidance to heal from “Divine” – the original “God source” of energy and light, all souls split from to come here.”

If God uses you to bring healing in to peoples lives, then do you consider yourself to be a healer?” David: “No, I have no power, all power belongs to God. We are conduits through which his healing grace has healed.

Ok, So you are a pastor. What is a pastor?

“A shepherd. That’s it. They know when hyperbole is being spoken and when truth is being spoken. He is not perfect or above anything. I have thoughts and motives that are not good also so I ask for forgiveness every day.”

Listening to my grandfathers strong barriers between “good’ and “bad” that came up various points throughout the interview and barriers between Healer and Pastor as labels, one of which he was comfortable with because of the definition as he understood each to represent fascinated me. It reinforced the theory I am seeking to shed light on . . . We get so mired down in definitions of our egos, our own personal narratives of who we think we are and what certain words, concepts, and groups of people are that we shut off large parts of ourselves that are seeking wholeness. Healing is found when we are whole. We can not be whole when we do not allow all thoughts, concepts, ideas and conversations to enter our psyche with pure unadulterated curiosity. Not fear, not preconceptions, not defensiveness and protections of our preconceived notions. #curiositysilencesfear Pure, interest and curiosity is what we all need more of in our conversations so that we may all transcend the loops we are stuck in, keeping us from realizing our soul’s purpose and elevating this human race.

Fear is tearing us apart . . .

Deep inside. . . within each of us, fears big and small, conscious and subconscious, are keeping parts of us from finding clear answers. These blockages keep us from being whole versions of self within communities, families and with this planet.

I hope this conversation and all the blogs that follow can serve as an impetus to draw us closer through conversations that are meaningful and honest. In a place where we all feel safe to speak freely from a place of love. That is how we will all heal and that is my only mission in life whether writing, reading the Akashic Records for myself or others or teaching Pilates. My soul’s calling in this life is to serve as a gateway to self trust in your intuition and inner child so we can all navigate life with more ease physically and spiritually.

Until next time, stay in the light and be love.

Healing & Art,

Courtney